I’m not sure of the reason–maybe it’s turning 40 or perhaps it’s because we just launched our oldest son out of the home and off to college–but I often get lost in reflection about raising children and family life, especially as the kids grow up enough to engage in a more mature relationship with my husband and me.
Regardless of the why, today I want to share one avenue that has fostered positive interaction between and among our five children and us–the “parental units.”
Yes, tell me.
It’s Fantasy Football.
Fantasy Football?
Yep. Fantasy Football. We’ve played this together for the past four years and we’re currently playing our fifth season of Fantasy Football in our Family League.
So, you play Fantasy Football with your kids and it’s a family league?
Correct. It’s ideal to have an even number of participants for the match-ups, so my when my joined our odd number of seven (Daddy, Mommy, plus 5 kids = 7), he balanced our family league and it works!
I see. So you mentioned that this has been a positive thing in your family. Tell me more about that.
Thanks for asking. I wouldn’t have scripted this, but what I’ve discovered is that playing Fantasy Football has given my hubby and I a regular and POSITIVE forum to keep the conversation going in our family.
So, you talk together about football.
Yes, we can generally agree on this subject. And we have good, clean fun talking it up about our teams, playing the wires, negotiating trades, and so forth. Playing Fantasy Football doesn’t initiate an argument and it gives us something lighthearted to talk about on a regular basis. Each week we change-up our lineups, face off with each other in a different matchup, and debate big questions like who will win week 3? The Green Dinosaurs or Pop’s Pounders? The Wrecking Crew or the Fighting Puppies? Dracarys or the Salty Sharks? The Guardians or the Virtuous Voyagers?LOL can you guess which one is my team? Fantasy Football unites my family and has been a positive forum to relate with our growing up kids for the past several years.
Keep talking.
I’ve found it a huge relief to have one subject that invites positive conversation, especially with my teens. If you’re a mom of teens/tweens, then you probably “get” that not every conversation is agreeable.
You many wonder--Is anything I’ve said sinking in to your head? How many times do we have to have this conversation? When will you take action and change?
[Reader laughs]So you can relate!
I can.
My point is this: find something (it doesn’t have to be Fantasy Football) that unites your family and has the potential to build positive memories around it. Whatever IT is, the forum needs to be mutually agreeable, invite regular participation, encourage positive interaction, and engage your kids in conversation with each other and you.
That’s encouraging!
I’m so glad. If you’re unsure of what will unite your family, first, I encourage you to pray. God knows what you need. Let his Spirit inspire your ideas and pave the way for bringing about another level of connection into your family.
Good thought. Pray first.
Absolutely. And I encourage you to discuss the idea of rallying your family around a common interest with your hubby first before notifying your peeps of the new family tradition that starts today. The one that you are leading. The one that your hubby has no idea about because you haven’t discussed it with him.
That’s funny. I could so see myself doing that.
Me, too! That’s why I’m encouraging you to pray first, then talk to your hubby. Then, when you share your desire and idea how to build deeper family connection with your husband, you’re already taking steps to work together as a TEAM in the effort to unite your family, which was created through teamwork in the first place.
That’s true!
The idea to discuss with your hubby is this: What common game or regular activity could our family engage in to further unite us and promote positive conversation?
I want to talk to my hubby about this.
Go for it!
After praying first.
You’ve got it. Who knows? Your hubby may have a great idea! Or he may veto it altogether. That’s okay. At least he will know it is your heart’s desire to be more intentional about family building. That seed has been planted!
That’s a good point.
Keep praying. Ask God to help you be a good wife to your husband (and to not have an emotional reaction or hold a grudge again him). Pray for God to help you be a present mom to your kids. Keep doing the next right thing! Trust in God and don’t lose hope. Ya never know! Perhaps when you least expect it, your hubby may just tell your clan to “Load up the car ’cause we’re going bowling,” and you’ve entered into the next level of family bonding.
Thanks for the encouragement!
You’re welcome! Thanks for chatting with me today about how to further family bonding in your home. I’m sending you prayers to that end!
Dear Lord,
Thank You for giving us families. I pray for my friend who has the heart desire to increase the family bonding in her home. I ask You to help her to cast all her cares about this issue on You in prayer. Help her to take courage when she discusses this idea with her husband and for his heart and mind to be open. I pray for Your Spirit to inspire their ideas and increase their unity in both marriage and family. Please protect them from the evil one and deeply encourage them as they pursue family bonding for Your glory.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
More Family Traditions
Saturday morning breakfast – special weekly sit-down family breakfast w/ extended conversation around the table
Family puzzle races – kid vs. parent race against time to build a 50-piece puzzle (We did this when our kids were younger.)
The Animal Game – A 20-question guessing game (fun activity to do during a Saturday morning breakfast)
Watching Aggie football – get your Aggie gear on and cheer on the fightin’ Texas Aggies together, sometimes with fun football game fare!
Reading aloud a book series together – Harry Potter, Laura Ingalls Wilder, etc.
